In 3 days I plan to have a double mastectomy or in more accurate medical terms, a bilateral mastectomy. I will have 2-3 lymph nodes removed on the right side and no reconstruction. I have been in full "prepping for recovery mode". I have new pillows (a wedge and a mastectomy pillow), some new pajama pants and have filled the prescriptions I have been given. Our second bedroom futon is all ready for me. I can not wait to get it over with and deal with recovery (whatever that will bring). Waiting and dreading it is the worst!
Although I don't look forward to surgery and recovery I am basically ok with losing my breasts. I have always wanted to be smaller, even after my reduction last year I would have wanted to go even smaller if I could have. I wasn't quite thinking "flat" but my mindset is in a good place. I want to live. I want cancer out of my body! I have learned when I lost my hair and went bald due to chemo, no one really gives a hoot what I look like! I am excited to wear clothing styles that I have had to stay away from for decades because it made me look huge on top.
My biggest concern is the results of the pathology reports that I will receive after surgery. Please Lord let them be clear of cancer especially in the lymph nodes! That is the news I am waiting to hear. That will be the occasion for celebration! The surgery, recovery and adjusting to a new body shape are inconveniences but a good pathology report is LIFE!
What a journey!
Thanks for walking beside me on this journey!!!
Praying for clean scans and that the surgery goes well. Praying also for a speedy recovery. Love you cuz! 💕🙏🏻