I was a teacher before I was even a teacher. I played teacher as a kid (library and waitress were top contenders also). I organized the kids in the neighborhood to do various projects and put on events. As an adult I taught school where I organized EVERYTHING! I had my own children and loved planning all kinds of outings and events for them to participate in. I planned themed birthday parties. I had 2 little grand girls and loved planning all kinds of crafts and field trips for us. So what is the problem you may ask?
I am no longer a teacher. My children are grown. My little grand girls are as tall as me and have busy schedules of their own. I am visiting them in a few days and I find myself thinking about plans for my children, grands and brother/sister in law. My initial phone calls to confirm the dates revealed that my sons are working and getting a sailboat ready for summer. My brother and sister in law have a birthday party. My grands have dance classes, conditioning class daily and babysitting jobs.
Long story short, I do not have a plan. Well, that's not completely true. I know that I will spend two nights at one son's apartment and the other two nights at my older son's house. I have let everyone know when I will be in town. I have offered myself as the grands' uber driver (something else that will change in a couple of years too).
This is the new reality and is something I want to embrace. What do my family members want to do while I am visiting? Not every bit of time has to be planned out. Some of the best moments happen when we are just hanging out.
I do think it is important for me to come armed with some possible ideas. I know how nice it is when I have guests and I ask them what they want to do and they have a few suggestions. Flexibility is key however.
Something I read recently about planning is to know what your intentions are. So as I think about my intentions for my visit, this is what I came up with.
catch up with family: find out what they have doing and thinking about lately, see their latest projects and home improvements, ask questions and listen
make memories together: do some things together, have some new experiences together (or favorite old experiences), eat some new kind of food, get ice cream
do some of our joint hobbies together: crafting, photography, drawing, puzzles, read, cook, bake
In light of my intentions. I will try and make time for each family member. I will have a couple of ideas for things we could do if ideas are needed. I will bring my camera, drawing stuff, a book and maybe my new coffee cookbook.
I will make space for down time. Time where we could just hang out. Maybe even time when everyone has plans and I have time on my own. I am excited for this new approach to planning/not planning time with family. It is kind of freeing to not have to be the "planner"! I will let you know how it goes!
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